How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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