My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize