so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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