i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
