Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
