A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
