508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
