ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
