How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
