no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
