So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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