I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
