my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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