"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
