Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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