I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
