we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
