I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
