the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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