I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
