would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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