i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
