Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize