I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
