mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
