You're my little dorito
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
