can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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