I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
