just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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