One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize