You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
