My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
