I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
