This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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