don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Still dying that you shit outside
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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