I love black thongs
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
