Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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