I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
