your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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