I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
