You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
