I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
True college students do jello shots in the library
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
