Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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