Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
