i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
