put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i love accidental penises.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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