I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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