Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
