Yo dont text me then not text me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
