in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
