Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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