rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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