I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize