I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
