Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize