How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
