My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
