Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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