butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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