Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
