Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
