Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
